I went through the majority of my life believing that black people can’t swim. And even succumbing to racist scientific rhetoric that black people do not swim well because they have denser bones. Embarrassed to say, I legit believed this nonsense. It was actually quite comforting to know that it wasn’t my fault I could not swim. I was just cursed by my ancestors and genetically predisposed to not being able to swim. Plus the reality that I’m 31! Is this not something you are meant to learn as a child? I also believed that as a child you learn faster and learning is best done at an early age. I would also come to find out that this was false.
The Big fear of swimming
Even though I was afraid of swimming, I was very content in this phobia and it didn’t hinder me from most water-themed social events. I would find myself going to the beach to paddle around in waist-high water. Go to pool parties and be that guy in the shallow end with a mojito and sunglasses. I genuinely believed with all my heart that my body just was not made for swimming. All this to say, like many of us I hid my fear very well and never had to face the root cause of it.
“The major barrier to skill acquisition isn’ intellectual, it’s emotional”
Taking a deep dive into the root of my anxiety I realized that I wasn’t afraid of the water specifically. In reality, the ‘root fear’ was the fear of being helpless. The lack of control it gives me knowing that I would probably last 30 secs in anything above 186cm depth and ultimately perish.
The first key was my desireThis is where my journey commenced, I had pinpointed where my phobia comes from which led me to the first stage of learning, Desire. This is the first and probably the most important tool you will need to have in learning any new skill. Let us think of desire like fuel for the engine of learning because when you lose your desire you stop and give up all ambitions to learn. It is cool if maybe now and again your Desire tank might be running on its reserve, as long as it can be topped up. Believe me, once you have a strong enough desire you will surprise yourself at the things you can do.
“How the hell can’t you float, everyone can float”
When it comes to you desiring something it can come from either of two places. Something you love, let’s describe this as positive energy or something you fear, negative energy. Too many times we desire to learn things out of fear, and it never lasts. For example, I remember how inadequate I felt when a friend, who is a good swimmer tried to help me learn some years back. I remember he would say things like “You need to learn how to swim, it’s easy” or “How the hell can’t you float, everyone can float”. All these things did not inspire me, even though I knew that’s what he was trying to do. And even though I joined a gym with a pool, I rarely practiced and after some months gave up altogether. My desire to swim came from the fear of being inadequate.
Don’t get me wrong negative energy get’s s*** done.
Don’t get me wrong negative energy get’s s*** done. I’m sure if someone put a gun to your head and told you to learn to swim you would do it. But that’s never really going to work, this brash method would make you learn but in the long term, you will most likely to forget due to lack of genuine desire to practice. However, when something comes from a positive desire, it may take you longer to accomplish your goal but I promise you, it will be complete and stay with you for life.
Self Love = Desire.
May I add that; if you are coming from a place of genuine fear concerning swimming or water, I would advise you don’t attempt to start learning straight away. You need to face your phobia and understand the root cause of it because you will never truly learn from a place of fear. Don’t try to swim to get over your fear, swim because you love yourself and genuinely want to improve. This is what changed for me; I was quite content with my fear and that reality of never swimming for the rest of his life. The turning point for me was realising that my fear of swimming was not greater than the love and desire I had to become a better person. This is what motivated me and I simply wanted never feel helpless again. Yes, I’m aware this all sounds pretty flowery and la-di-da but that’s actually how the first step works. Self Love = Desire.
Practice, practice, practice…
Secondly, we have consistency, that is simply just to show up! There is a lesson to learn in everything, you just need to present to learn it. I did go a bit overboard with my consistency, swimming about 6 days of the week but not every day did I feel like I was learning. Some days were tough, I would not meet my targets and would give up in 15 mins but this also where the lessons come in. You need to be in a position where you can learn from your mistakes, be in a position where you can learn what not to do. Understanding something straight away, probably means that you’re not learning but just adapting to something you already know.
When I made a mistake, that’s when I was truly in the learning zone. Consistency provides you with the opportunity to make errors! As weird as it sounds, you are going to want to expose yourself to as much mistake-making as possible. Now, dealing with swimming don’t go overboard with this because there is one obvious mistake no one can ever come back from. But within the realms of safety, I spent most of my time the shallow end of the pool getting things wrong. It was not fun, there is always the immediate feeling of shame when you can’t get things right. People give up when they don’t get things right or but its a Catch 22. Getting things wrong means you’re getting it right.
Chop it up!
Break down the task into small chunks. I deconstructed my swimming regime into small manageable chunks and at first, I didn’t even think about wanting to swim. My first task was learning how to float! In the 4 months, it took me to learn I spent a good 2 months just learning how not to sink like a sack of yams. Then I broke in down even further by giving myself tasks like ‘float for just 10 secs’. Then the next weeks task 20 secs and so on until by month 2 I was a fully fledge floater! Most things we think of as hard to learn are just a combination of small mini learnings bundled together. Break down the tasks into small chunks and you enable yourself to learn a lot easier. Though I did not put a time on me being able to swim(and I don’t think you should), learning in this way made things seem a lot faster. I could imagine how long tasks like learning a new language could be broken down in this way also.
Close to you in everyway
Proximity, I have been fortunate and privileged to have a swimming pool in the building I live in. This has been one of the best things for me because it removes that excuse of “its too far” or that it’s out of the way. I understand one of the biggest barriers in our mind might be that learning a new skill is just out of our reach. I have a friend in Nigeria, who lives in an area where she has to travel quite far too out of her way to use the swimming pool. This is also why desire is so important as makes you bring whatever that thing is closer to you. What if you don’t have a pool anywhere close to you? Well there are actually ways around this. Even in quarantine people are finding interesting home swimming practice routines. If the gym is too far for you, find ways to change your route home or maybe you can buy home gym equipment. The same with swimming try to work your life around your practice, book dates or meetings close to your local pool. Go for a swim before meeting friends but make sure they know about your journey.
Not just physical proximity but mental proximity helped me too. I remember, I would do things like wear swimming shorts under my trousers so I would always be ready to swim. Mentally this just send signals to your mind to get ready to work. It is always good to tell people what you are doing; also friends and family are good at reminding you of your goals. Bring whatever it is you are trying to learn at close proximity to you and the gains will be endless.
Desire, Consistency, Deconstruction and Proximity
For a long time, I struggled with being honest with myself about learning. I think we all are forever ready to make excuses because well why not, it’s easy. Even writing this blog post came with is own fears which I need to overcome. It took me months just to put pen to pad, but again I saw these same principles come into play. Desire, Consistency, Deconstruction and Proximity. I hope this post inspires somebody to also face their fears and learn how to swim, learn a new skill or even a new language. I’m by no means a pro swimmer but last summer for the first time in my life I swam in the ocean!
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References
Though I didn’t want to make this a How to Swim tutorial here are links to some of the videos I watched during my learning period. Really and truly I did not watch too many but simple watched and repeated the same 2 videos.
In all, it took me just under 4 months to learn to swim going 5/6 times per week.
Follow the Swim-up channel on YouTube, a big shout out to them they have some great material on their channel
Shout out to Christian Wedoy — very simple and concise videos help you grapple the basics first
quote reference : Josh Kaufman is the author of the #1 international bestseller, ‘The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business’,
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